Fort Unnecessary offers a quest line to have you train/help a group of misfit soldiers via different methods, all to the pleasure of their supervising officer, Captain Harriet Davenport.
The Watchtower[edit | edit source]
- A watcher is accessible as you enter the fort. With disposable binoculars, you can here discover a randomly chosen location from the list:
Errands[edit | edit source]
The supervising officer asks you to help out with her misfit team:
- You have a scout, Private Blindman, that is nearsighted, who can be helped with a pair of disposable binoculars (60 - 63 XP), or you can buy a pair of very thick spectacles from the Jeweler's Cabin (120 - 126 XP).
- Private Cooker, who is more lumberjack than chef, who can be helped through metaphor:
- The toast is like shoes, and the corned-beef is like the Shinola. or help him work it out with 45 Mysticality (60 - 63 XP).
- Private Bowtie, an assistant that can't tie a bow, can be helped with a clip-on bow tie or with 45 Moxie (60 - 63 XP).
- Private Bowlegs, a cavalry soldier who is so bow-legged he can't ride a horse, who can be helped by buying a mule at Alamo Rent-A-Mule for 1500 meat (and giving him the contract, or you can fix him with 45 Muscle (60 - 63 XP).
- And lastly you have Private Tillery, a cannoneer who can't figure out how to fire one the right way. He can be helped with the book, Cannon Loading for Idjits or with 45 Mysticality (60 - 63 XP)
- Once you solve everybody else's problems, you can speak to Captain Davenport again to receive 300 XP.
Items[edit | edit source]
- A medal of adequacy can be retrieved from General Whatshisname's desk in the Administration building.
Bad Guys[edit | edit source]
|60 - 63 x number of goblin shed fights|
|1 of |
20% chance of goblin trash sack
20% chance of goblin shortpants
- The gun storage shed is crammed full of goblins. If you do not have Gary as a pardner, you can fight them, with the number of goblins increasing by 1 every time you do, up until 9 goblins. However, the amount of experience you gain will keep increasing.
- The kind of goblin, and their starting positions on the combat grid are chosen randomly.
Portal[edit | edit source]
- If you possess the key-Shaped El Vibrato device there will be a time window almost on top of your character's starting location. Looking through it will describe a scene where in cars are driving by really fast and every 15 seconds a man swears as a rectangular 6"x3" object falls by your view.